When contemplating leaving this decade, I feel a little like Lot’s wife today. For those of you unfamiliar, Lot’s wife (she is unnamed in KJV), is reluctant to leave what she knows and the good times her family experienced in a particular city, even though better things may lie ahead. I relate.
After all, my kids grew up from 2010-2019. We had academic meets, soccer games, football games. There was sledding down the hills, making Santa cookies, playing board games. Not to mention first dances, first dates, and first state championships! A life fully lived in these precious years.
Career wise, I taught Social Studies. I coached Academics. I taught Language Arts. I taught 5th grade. I changed schools. I taught 7th grade. I learned how to be and effective teacher and a responsive teacher. I learned how to love my students and maintain balance and discipline simultaneously.
I grew into myself as a wife, mother, and an individual. I lived my 30’s and entered my 40’s. I read books – a lot of them. I was a caretaker for Granny until she passed away in 2014.
I transferred my caretaking energies to Mom. We took her to the beach for the first time in this decade. We took her two more times after. We made the BEST memories….these are moments I want to keep FOREVER. She was diagnosed with lung cancer in 2016. By September of 2017, we were walking her home. She passed away on October 24th, 2017.
The journey through grief is a long one. My daughter left for college. I got a puppy – Ellie Mae. I started this blog. We started a business that I hope will lead to early retirement.
This last decade is a full life lived. It’s taken a lot of physical and mental work – not to mention prayer – to get where I am. That said, I’m reluctant to enter a new decade without my Mom. It’s scary. It’s bittersweet. It’s the first time I’ve ever started a new decade without her presence.
I’m not sure I’m ready to close the book. 🙏